Hello it’s been a while! I used blogging as a way to keep my recovery strong, to motivate me and keep a log of my journey. My last post I had tried to give up sertraline but couldn’t. It’s safe to say I’m still on them. I am finding they make me sleepy so I’m changing when I take them to the evening. That saw me a little tetchy and and anxious to begin with but it feels like it’s starting to settle now.
Life has been carrying on, busy with a toddler, husband, full time job and a social life. Sometimes I don’t have time to barely eat and clean let alone blog or give my time to OCD.
It’s still there, the whispers of my anxiety are quieter but still present. Those of you that followed my journey know that I suffered when I was a teen approximately 15 years ago and then OCD didn’t feature until 2020 and the birth of my child and the pandemic. I hope to get to the day it doesn’t feature but it does.
For example today when my sister left her can of pop on the side, I tried to avoid it. When I used someone else’s pen and then used my phone, I needed to wipe my phone and seek some reassurance. I got to a point life has to carry on and I don’t allow it to stop me from doing things but it causes some hesitation.
I often used these blogs to set myself challenges set for myself with exposure therapy and lately I’ve realised there are still actions of mine controlled by OCD. Also not helped again with covid. Some elements we all do since the pandemic. Some are clearly lingering issues. For example my front door handle is touched by the numerous couriers bringing packages. I don’t touch my front door handle. My husband does, my friends do, my family do but if I happen to I’ll wash my hands. I tend to leave it open a little to kick it open on my return. If it’s shut when I come back if the post is delivered then I’ll apply hand gel after. Yet I open the post no problem. As ever OCD is not logical.
I’m going to spend some time thinking and monitoring what’s left to go. What’s left to challenge and overcome and I hope to utilise this forum to do so.
It’s safe to say there are external stresses in my life so it’ll take time to balance and find the most peaceful time to make this easier. For example whilst currently changing the time of my medication probably isn’t the time but Rome wasn’t built in a day and I have already come so far given at one stage I couldn’t even leave the house.
I’m ready to start trying to stomp out the whispers. I’ll take you on this journey with me if your up for it!
Obsessively compulsive 