Today is day 5 of reduced medication. Nearly a week down and 3 more to go until I try and end my journey on sertraline.
Two years ago I was in my worst place with my OCD. My Husband probably thought I was being difficult a lot and he was right. I washed my hands till the skin was coming off. I had my husband watch me shower in case I touched anything ‘dirty’ as I’d have to start over again. My husband dressed me, I wouldn’t touch my feet. I didn’t make my own drinks or food as I was too scared. Covid took over every thought in my head… despite having a 8 week old baby to care for. I lived every second with this fear that took my life, took my happiness and took my first few months with my baby. I remember arguing with my husband to watch me wash incase I got it wrong. He’d go off to work leaving me with drinks for the whole day as I was too scared to move off my sofa or touch anything. The smallest things set me off, my mind was poisoning any small bit of happiness. I thought my life was over. I thought I’d never leave my house again.
Today I went to see a musical in a full theatre. I didn’t obsess. I didn’t worry. I just did. I had an amazing time and I wouldn’t have thought this is where I’d be two years on. Sertraline, CBT, my son and my husband helped me get my life back.
The two years were a battle but now I’m feeling stronger I see the beauty I was missing out on and I’m not loosing that again.
Here’s to the next chapter and seeing what comes next. Whatever it is I’m ready, and if it turns out I’m not…. I know what to do.
Obsessively compulsive 